It might take a little while, but starting today we can cut the global starvation figures in half, and it would not cost anyone a single penny. We can accomplish this by watching TV. Or by going for a walk. Or reading a book. Or by having a chat with our friends. Or by doing anything at all other than having sex. Sex alone is the culprit—sex, and the total inability of the vast majority of the human kind to use their brains.
Imagine—such magnificent evolutionary achievement as brain, yet hardly used. Perhaps most of us save it for a better day, in case we might ever need it. Except for you and me, of course. I assume that in a world, which is running out of potable water, you have not spawned any children. If you have, then you’re just as guilty. Just as guilty as my parents were. Behold my gratitude.
Yes. The world is running out of water we can drink. And without water we shall all die. We shall not need any wars, or plagues, or other viral infestations. We’ll just dry up. Wither. Like a plant in the desert. A brainless plant.
We have brains.
Actually, if people restrained themselves from having more than two children, then by natural attrition we’d gradually return to a balanced population. We wouldn’t have to kill each other for the want of a drink of water. If we don’t soon, we’ll have to.
There is another alternative.
If we’d rather act like animals, we can merely react to our hormonal drives to restore the balance. When there are too many of us around, we can just eat each other. Young and old alike. The younger are tastier, of course. Alas, it is illegal to eat children—as is murder, rape, stealing, gluttony, sloth and a dozen other peccadilloes, which we ignore with equal perspicacity.
On the other hand we could eat our old. I believe I am old enough, and if you marinate me long enough I might be palatable. If not, you could try your own family. I’d suggest you do it before we run out of water on a global scale. If we wait too long, our bodies will dry up and not be tasty at all. On the other hand, what do I know? I’ve never tried human flesh. In fact the very idea repels me. Speaking for myself, I’d rather starve. This might be your option, too.
Or we could stop having children, just for a generation or two—to restore balance. It would be a decent thing to do. And we wouldn’t have to eat people, although there was a time when cannibalism was in vogue.
Anyway, in no time at all, there would be enough water for everybody.
PS. I’m a vegetarian.
Sacha didn’t have any children. You can find out why in my novel, Part There of the Alexander Trilogy. Don’t worry, he didn’t eat people, either.
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